"Thats so gay is so yesterday"

I am in a program that operates from a social justice framework, and includes the practices of inclusion, anti oppression and acceptance….. Most of the time.

In class (Beyond Borders) we have talked about the idea of some people being “Justice Seekers” with a focus on social justice, and calling out injustices where ever possible. This is me! I strongly identify with this role. I can remember in grade school trying to get the other kids to stop saying “retarded” because it hurt other people’s feelings, and even asking the other kids not to swing on the branches of the trees because the trees didn’t like it. Working from an anti oppression frame work informs so much of what I do on a daily basis. Being committed to anti oppression and social justice is (usually) what keeps me so busy – I have trouble saying no to helping out where help is needed.

I think that my final acceptance of traveling to the Ukraine to work with girls with disabilities rested on the idea that this is a population that is severely marginalized, and part mf my role as volunteer is also advocate [insert (highly egotistical) vision of social justice superhero flying in to save the day]. As I’ve mentioned, I have trouble turning down a request to help where help is needed.

Sometimes I fell like no one REALLY cares about social justice, and I tire myself out fighting to educate others as to why this is so important. I think this is the reason why I feel so at home in the SMF program (and Beyond borders for that matter): it is a place where there are like minded people who are interested in fighting for similar causes, and are as committed to justice as I am (some even more so).

Case in point: yesterday Carm Desantis’ SMF 208 family therapy class hosted an Anti oppressive therapy model symposium in the St Jerome’s Cafeteria. Carm really encourages her students to identify their preconceptions, and biases and not just ignore them, or stifle them, but address them and confront them in order to move beyond them. It was invigorating to see 100+ students grappling with the issue of Anti-oppression, and working from a framework they may be unfamiliar with. I think this is a wonderful class to have at a 200 level as it introduces students to the framework, and helps them climb inside and get comfortable using it, and I think it is something that stays with them as they move through the rest of their careers inside the academic institution, as well as out side of it.

With all the feel good stuff out of the way, I do have a bit of a bone to pick. Some times I feel like there are people who are “inclusive” because it is expected of them (in their academic setting) rather than because that’s what they believe in. Like someone who in classroom setting will laboriously make sure their language is inclusive, but write something like “yo guy, I look so gay” on a picture on facebook, or tell you they have a “retarded amount of home work”. There have been occasions where people slip up in classes as well – sitting through 10 research proposal presentation where all of the groups didn’t want to look at same sex participants because they “just weren’t interested in that population” (what’s worse is when they refer to them as “the gays” hahahah), or saying that anal sex is disgusting during a presentation on healthy sex. These are some pretty blatant examples; there is a plethora of others that are more covert, and more indicative of the system of oppression and discrimination that we operate within.

Let me bring you back to the Anti Oppressive Therapy Model Symposium. Each student group was supposed to watch a movie, identify oppression within the movie, and develop a therapy model that was anti oppressive. These students talk a lot about shedding their biases and preconceptions and addressing the client needs from a place of acceptance and non judgment. This is wonderful in theory, but as we walked around we identified several groups whose biggest oversight was putting this into practice. Example: one group asked us to discuss characteristics of the stereotypical man. When we hesitated, one group member prompted my colleague by saying “think of a characteristic of your ideal man, a man you would want to go on a date with”. EEK heteronormativity!!!! What this group member did not realize is that my colleague is a lesbian, and has no use for an ideal man that she would want to date; her comment reduced her sexual orientation to non-existent. There were many other examples of this happening at various groups (I won’t go through them all) which is shocking considering that nearly every group talked about identifying their biases, and checking their judgments “at the door” (so to speak).

Through these situations I always come away having had a really neat experience of multiple personalities: I’m black if you say nigger, I have a disability if you call something retarded, I’m multi ethnic if you use a racial slur, and I’m as gay and out as Harvey Milk if you’re being heteronormative (well 56% anyways hahahah). Dominique de Menil said “What should move us to action is human dignity: the inalienable dignity of the oppressed, but also the dignity of each of us. We lose dignity if we tolerate the intolerable.” I find myself so committed to protecting the right to justice and inclusion of others that I take any form of slight or oppression against anyone so personally.

What I think am saying here (or more what I’m on about) is that we need to adopt anti oppression and social justice into our lives as a fundamental practice, rather than just a frame work to dabble in. Bj Rye has a poster up that says “a newspaper can’t be gay, but your best friend can be” and encourages people to explore how destructive language can be (please check out the thinkb4youspeak website) (also comment if you’re interested in hearing about how HORRIBLE the history of the word “faggot” is and I’ll post something, I just don’t want to take up and MORE space in this post).

Here’s my final though for today: we live in a world of difference. Where each person is very different from every other person and that this is what the makes the world GOOD not BAD. Many of us wouldn’t dream of calling a black person a nigger, or beating someone up because they are gay – we have moved away from such blatant and overt marginalization – we would, however, perhaps make the mistake of assuming that someone (or more specifically assuming that EVERYONE) is hetero sexual. which is just as damaging. We are all racisit, and all sexist, and all homophobic, but it is how we deal with these things that matters. We need to be aware of these things, and these tiny little small biases that exist and leak out, and in so doing have the potential to do a world of harm.

"If you're thinking about being my baby it don't matter if your black or white"

*love (Everyone) *