I have to admit I have brain block this week. I have sat down on a number of occasions to write this blog post (due 3 days ago) but the ideas have just not been flowing. I wonder if it has anything to do with the deadly cocktail of March madness (end of term crunch) and a wonderfully wicked sickness?! Regardless, it's not often that I have nothing to say, so it's a bit jarring.
Tonight, as I was scraping at the bottom of the barrel for ideas, I decided to write about diversity through the lens of a party I went to last night.
Yesterday was hectic. It was the opening day for my chorus and our Spring Fling 2010. We sang through 3 full shows over the day (exhausting!) and then after that Felix and I rushed across town to an annual Fundraiser Party.
A few months ago I was horrified to arrive at the realization that one of my close relatives lives a life that embodies everything I despise about Western living. Like a perverted poster child: this family lives in the suburbs, married, owns their home, and exists comfortably in the upper middle class with his 2.5 kids (well, 2 kids) and a pet. They drive 2 large SUVs, they own a large boat and a jet ski, there’s a TV in every room of the house, they have all the toys. They are Costco members (but prefer Sam's club); they shop at Wal-Mart, they are proud to be consumers, and exercise their pride by consuming... more. (Please don't mistake this description for me not loving my relatives. I adore this family deeply... but just hear me out...)
When I was younger I loved going to this house because of all the "stuff", but as I got older and more socially aware, I was also aware of an increasing dis-ease I felt when visiting. It was around Christmas that I was finally able to name where that dis-ease stemmed from - they live the life, with the values, I fight so hard to counteract within our Western society!
I took some comfort in the fact that it was their life style causing the dis-ease, and not them. It was comforting to find that being opposed to their lifestyle and values didn't change the way I felt about them even a little bit.
Last night was a big night for them. They had over 100 people at their house; they had a brewery sponsor, media coverage of the party the whole 9 yards. They have been hosting this party for 10 years always for the purpose of raising money for children's charities. they now raise money for cancer.
It runs in the family, we are all at our happiest when hosting others and making them happy. These relative was no exception last night. they were alight with a glow of happiness (and drunkenness) it was their glowing smiles that lead me to a strange sense of understanding, like I reconciled my opposition to their lifestyle.
I realized, as Anne frank so eloquently put it, that we all live with the objective of being happy, and that our lives are all different, and therefore our happinesses are all different. My Rlatives draw their happiness from the people around them and although their lifestyle is very different (understatement of the century) than mine, they find their own ways to give back to the cosmos: like by being a good neighbor and friend, lending a hand when one is needed, raising money for cancer etc.
Sometimes I find that I get frustrated (and perhaps a wee bit preachy) when people don't see how problematic their lifestyles can be for the rest of humanity (like a millionaire cousin who spent $9million rebuilding a house but didn't bother to include ANY green technologies, not even solar panels... GRR). I don't think that I give enough space for people making a difference in their own ways.
I was going to call this post "it takes all types" because that was the conclusion of my reflection on this topic - it does take all types, but with that being said, it is helpful to remember that we are all working towards the same goal of happiness no matter how we define it to ourselves. I am most happy when facilitating the happiness of others, and I think I Have to pay more attention to how others derive their truest happiness to complete that symbiotic relationship. I have found a new confidence in Anne Frank's words "our lives are all different and yet the same".
(I promise to be more on time and less bottom of the barrel next week)
*love*
I hear you!
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of something that comes to mind whenever I think of food ethics. People ask me why I'm a vegetarian - and I try not to sound preachy when I talk about the environmental, biological, and suffering problems that are caused by factory farming. Because the fact is - where does it end with food ethics? Everything has become so complicated that grocery shopping has become exhausting. Take the example of cucumbers. I can get local cucumbers right now - but they are wrapped in plastic. The organic, unwrapped ones are from a place so far away that it took unreasonable amounts of fossil fuel to get it to me - and who knows if it was grown by children, or slaves, or whatever. What is worse? Argh it makes me want to grow all of my own food. The point is - we all choose our ethical battles, and most of us are doing the best we can? I think? Things are just so out of balance on so many levels it's hard to know where to start.
Sorry for the rant - I suppose it's only somewhat related.
Thank you for your always insightful posts.
don't apologize. I think that sometimes I write to insight rants. Thank you for allowing yourself the space!!
ReplyDeleteHaha Denise did you mean "incite" rants? I was very confused there for about a split second, then I got the gist of it.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny...I'm quite sure I've had the same experience that you and Elyse have had, with the frustration of trying to effect (affect? I don't know the right word exactly) and the sheer amount of energy it takes to swim against the current...especially when it comes to family. I've been on a semi plant-based diet for a while...why "semi"? It's partly because I tend to eat out a lot and sometimes, the place you're at just really isn't all about eating plant-based (Morty's comes to mind haha). But it's also because of family...what about all the delicious German food my Oma (grandmother) makes at Christmas? Our regular Christmas Eve dinner includes sausages, some sort of pork and sauerkraut with bacon - she would definitely be hurt if I turned my nose up at that. And at the same time, despite all that I've read about meat and the way it turns my stomache, there's this intensely powerful emotional relationship I have with her food, and the comfort I get when I go to her house and she's just made a huge meal of her typical delicious food. It's hard to resolve.
I think at the end of the day you can only do the best you can and try not to compromise your values TOO often. What really matters? To be honest, a lot of the time I care much more about the togetherness of my family than my principles - not sure if that's the best thing...
btw I meant to say, affect/effect change.
ReplyDelete