Comfort in Opposites

"So it seems to me that you two are polar opposites of each other. there are two ways of looking at this: the first way is that being opposite is a source of tension in relationships and that it has and always will cause friction and upset. The second way of looking at it is that opposites attract. You see your differences as a positive thing and they help to balance each of you. Felix, which view do you take?"
"I tend to take the former..."
"And Denise?"
"Most definitely the latter!"
Case. In. Point !

Everybody, meet Felix! Felix is sometimes my other half, and sometimes my better half, but always my opposite. Felix is my other full time job.


(I was going to write you a post about Cultural Competencies, and then about being Canadian, but for some reason this felt like it needed to happen.)

A little bit about Felix: Felix is an early 1970s baby (I'm an early 1980s baby). He grew up in Winnipeg immersed in strong Chinese culture. He did a BA in commerce and economics at the University of Manitoba and then picked up and moved to Toronto to join the Bay st rat race. Felix goes to work in a suit, for an investment firm and supports the very political, economic, and social infrastructures that I have rebelled against all my life. Felix is a Green/Gold with a high need for structure, order and procedure. He respects authority, he is emotionally controlled and needs (alone) time to process, think, and reflect. Felix scores a 2/7 on the extrovert scale (I hope that I am properly highlighting the polarity of Felix and I). Felix and I will mark our 5 year anniversary while I am in the Ukraine - I'm not always positive exactly how we've made it this far (it surprises the h*ll outta him). regardless of our opposites, it is with felix that I feel most comfortable.

I have been writing my blog since October 2009 and February 27 2010 was the first time Felix visited it!! I have learned not to mistake that for non-support, but I think that it has been his way of ignoring the inevitable (through this have had a revelation)I'm leaving him for 4 months!!!!

I think that the excitement of going had distracted me from the realities of leaving!


Leaving is one of the most serious side effects of embarking on such a journey.
The most important things that I am leaving behind are Felix, and our "boys" Quixo and Juda (I would be remiss if I didn't include the cat, Mangia, as well; he'd get upset with me, and probably pee on something to spite me). These are the things (my partner, our relationship and our "children") I look to in order to recharge, get support and grow strength. The reality of leaving them behind has not set in as of yet, but the concept of it makes my skin crawl a little bit.

How do I seek comfort in something so discomforting?

I am reminded of Rigoberta Menchu who was forced to flee her native land, but yet it was this move away that enabled her to be changed, and in turn affect change. Lara will tell you that one does not have to travel the world to make a difference in it, and I agree, whole heartedly. I am not only looking to make a contribution and a difference, I am going to the Ukraine, first and foremost, in search of a different perspective on the global village, one that does not shine through a western lens.

As Canadians, as Capitalists, as Consumers (CCC), we have constructed our own interpretation of the world, and how it does, and should work. I think that the the grass roots movers and shakers (revolutionaries, if you will) who are affecting the most change are the ones that are able to divorce this westernized CCC lens and see things differently. I want to see things differently - not to be called a revolutionary (hahahahah), but to enable myself to affect the most change possible both at home (in Canada) as well as within the global village.

How does this relate to Felix?! Felix represents, for me, all of the things, and the comfort I am leaving behind. What am I leaving behind? I'm leaving behind my partner, and the boys, our house, my car, my native tongue, my friends, my community, my support system and safety net. I am leaving behind the comforts of "home". In my interview for Beyond Borders I used the new buzz line for interdisciplinary education: "I am comfortable being uncomfortable" thinking that I knew what it meant. I think that this experience is going to add an indescribable layer to the idea of being "uncomfortable" (are we ever really uncomfortable in our cushy western lives?!). I will concede that I am comfortable with idea of being uncomfortable, but I would like to amend my initial statement and have it read " I am terrified of learning what uncomfortable really feels like, but I am up for the challenge."


Oh and by the way, Felix doesn't know how to cook, like at all, so can somebody check on him now and again......?

*love*