Luuuuuuuucy, I'm.... doooooone!

Today was my final official day volunteering at Lucy McCormick School.

(thank goodness because the next 26 days are going to be a bit of a whirlwind!)

While I was there today, I reflected on the last 4 months I have spent with my supervisor, the kids, and the school... here's some of the things I have to say..... (there is good an bad all mixed around. I don't mean any offense, I am just reflecting)

My supervisor – She has been wonderful. She has been teaching kids with disabilities for over 20 years. She is patient, calm, methodical and all of the other wonderful qualities that are required for working with this particular population (don't forget they are also all adolescents!!).
The most valuable thing that I learned from her is that every task can be broken down into simple steps, and all people no matter what their functioning level, can be involved every step of the way – she exhibited this in the Work education art program, and the Family studies program, and also in all of her interactions with the students. This will be a valuable thing for me to have witnessed while I interact with the girls at the Internat.
My only criticism is that I don't think I was used to my full potential. As I did dishes in the family studies room today I remember an experience I had in an SMF practicum session when one of the other students was frusturated that her placement supervisor was unaware of her potential and she was disappointed that she was doing jobs like running a bingo night. I have felt like this on a numbr of occasions during my time at Lucy, but I realized today that that is as much my fault as it is anyone else's as I didn't say anything about it. Sometimes I felt like there was a system, and for the good of the students I should not disrupt anything.
This brings me to my regret in regards to my supervisor – I wish that I could have spend more time at the school with the kids and with my supervisor – and not more time over all because I put in more than double the amount of hours required from beyond borders - but definitely longer chunks of hours, like a couple full weeks. I wish this so that I was more integrated into the daily routines both with my supervisor and with the students. I think that this would have been optimal for me getting involved, and being used to my full potential – this is something that I feel about all aspects of the placement and I think would have had a positive effect on my experience, as well as my impact.

On to the kids!
The positives – I have gained some cultural competence through working with a population I was initially nervous about. In the four months I worked through language barriers (verbal-nonverbal), “rough days”, interaction, connection, and many other obstacles pretty much unscathed! They were the greatest teachers I could ask for.
An interesting point – I realized that I am a HUGE cherry picker. From the very first day I was at the school I picked a favourite. I wasn't obvious about it, and I made an effort to not treat this particular student any different, but I was definitely aware that I wanted to (hahaha)!! this was an interesting experience for me as I didn't think that I was like that. I am interested to see what happens with the girls at the Internat.
Some negatives – I wish that I had interacted more. My initial nervousness precluded me from really getting involved and making connections with the students. I think that more connection and more interaction with the students would have enriched my experience ten-fold!
Same regret – I feel as though spending larger blocks of time with the students would have allowed for deeper connections. Many of them were unsure about me, and forgot who I was from week to week. If I was going to do it again I would do it all in a two weeks or a month. Thinking about it, I think it would be neat to spend time with one particular class at the same time every day (like first period or whatever) and participate in whatever activities they engage in every day for like a month.....

The school/program/pedagogy- I think one of the most challenging things about this placement is that the pedagogy of the school is very much in line with that of Jean Vanier – treat people with respect and dignity to allow them to flourish. I think that this is the take home message from beyond borders, from my placement, and it will also be my greatest mission while I am abroad. The challenging part of this is that in Canada we have access to resources – both human resources in terms of staff and aids and teachers and stuff, and also other resources like specialized equipment, computer programs (Board maker in particular), specialized furniture, but most importantly the money for all of these things. I think it is going to be challenging for me to have a vision of both programs (Lucy and the Internat) juxtaposed in my mind. To give you and example – at Lucy they have a $25,000 Snoezelen Room (controlled multisensory stimulation), the Internat has a doctor that gets taken away to make money on the side. These great divides in opportunity and resources tend to hit me where it hurts and I get angry – perhaps a little bit vigilante. I am interested to watch myself struggle with this issue as I already know how I have reacted to similar situations in the past. I promise to keep you updated on this particular theme... and if I forget, please remind me because I think it'll be interesting to track.

I am glad that I spent the time that I did at Lucy because I think I am more prepared to travel to Ukraine than I was 4 months ago, and a large part of that has to do with my time with these students.

I hope to return to Lucy after my trip if for nothing else than just to check in on the progress and growth of the students I have gotten to know. I would also like to report back to my supervisor and give her heal time examples of how her role-modelling and guidance helped me in my journey.

As of today I'm 26 days away from departure!!

*love*