In extricably connected

May 18 2010

MAN did that ever feel good.

Please excuse me while I turn this blog into my personal journal.....

Tonight, I was able to connect via telephone with felix for the first time since I left Toronto a week ago!!! We have been trying since Saturday to get in touch, but to know avail….

Last week I didn’t think it was a huge deal, I figured we would talk eventually, and I wasn’t particularly worried about it. I had an amazing weekend with the family and that helped me to keep up the guise that I was doing ok without that connection. As of Sunday night, my heart sank at the thought of going to bed, and ending another day without talking to him. Each day that passed was another lower notch. I think I had convinced myself that it was ok, and that it would eventually happen – BUT I was noticing a lack of focus and a general feeling malaise that was beginning to set in. now that we have connected, I feel energized and recharged and my fatigue and overwhelmed feeling has disappeared. It is amazing the things we don’t even realize that we need.

Today we (the Saskatoon students and I) ventured to the Mall – Podolianna – which houses a large superstore type grocery store. We concluded that with enough money, and a limited knowledge of Ukrainian one could manage to find all (well most) of the material goods that help to make “home” comfortable. Post communist Ukraine has caught up with the western world in terms of imports and most things are available, for a price. It is comforting to know that I have access to Hienz ketchup, frosted flakes, and even mangoes if I so desired.

That being said, the greatest comfort of all is the 15 minutes spent talking on the phone (in English) with a loved one. For me, those 15 minutes powered up a teleporting device – I was HOME for that period of time and it was definitely a supercharge for my well worn batteries. I don’t think I have ever appreciated Joni Mitchell as much as I do right at this moment - “don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you‘ve got till it’s gone. For me, I was missing my recharge station. I now know that it is important, even imperative for me to be able to connect with Felix on a regular basis – make sure he’s eating (especially his vegetables), and also to let him know that things are good, I’m safe and happy and to catch each other up on what’s happening in our lives.
Can I get even more sappy? I have come to realize, in just one short week that I love that man to death! Being without him for a single week has felt like a life time already. When I dream of “home” I don’t dream of our country, or our city, or even our condo; my dreams of home are dreams of being with Felix, regardless of location and it’s wonderful to come to the realization that our lives are inextricably intertwined.

Thanks for reading!

*love*